I love being a Mum.
It is one of the most fulfilling things I have ever done. The girls make me smile, laugh, cry (happy and sad tears!) and at the end of the day, I can sit back proud in the knowledge that I made them!
But being a Mum isn’t always fun. It’s really hard!
However 2 months in to this wonderful year and I am really starting to feel that I’ve got my Mummy mojo back and that actually I’m not doing too bad a job on the whole.
Yes we have days where digital Nanny is a godsend (Thea loves her Amazon Fire tablet); but then we also have days where we bake and go to the park and live completely unplugged. We’ve also been known to have those cringe-worthy dance and sing around the kitchen moments – I am determined to live in a musical one day so its all early training for the girls really!
A big part of feeling back on track is the fact that I’ve been able to take some time out and reflect, so much more than ever before. Ironic isn’t it – I feel at my best as a Mum when I step back from looking after the children.
I’ve been going to the gym a bit, I’ve met up with friends, and I’m also doing an amazing photography course at a local college one night a week (blog post to come on that I suppose!). All of these things remind me that I’m myself first and foremost, but they also give me something extra to share with the girls. They remind me that its ok to take time to do things I want to do, and not watch Bing or Peppa for the thousandth time that day! I’ve realised that I shouldn’t feel guilty about that either; the girls don’t love me any less for doing these things.
The next big challenge is that I’m starting to think about my return to work (somehow 6 months has flown by!!) Luckily I have a bit more time off as I don’t have to go back until September, but it is constantly on my mind as we try to arrange childcare for Alex. I’m terrified and excited all at the same time.
I love to work. I love to teach. I love picking the girls up and finding out about their day away from me (well Thea responds at least!) And yet I’m still nervous about ‘missing out’ on those little moments with the girls. I’m anxious that I won’t be as good a Mum for going to work. I’m anxious that I’ll be a better Mum for going to work. Mad isn’t it!
For now I am going to make the most of the time I have with them, and the time I have for myself!
What do you enjoy doing for yourself? Have you returned to work or did you prefer to stay at home? Is flexible-working really flexible? Let me know what you think! I’d love to hear your thoughts.